Thursday, March 8, 2007
Wednesday, March 7, 2007
Does Your Sexless Marriage Have You Thinking About Divorce?
By Karl Augustine
If you are in a sexless marriage and are unhappy because of it, don't worry, it isn't unrecoverable but it is serious cause for concern. You may even be thinking that you need a divorce because of your sexless marriage, that's only natural. But, in order to really decide what to do, some thinking needs to be done so you feel good about your decision, regardless if you stay married or not.
Being stuck in a sexless marriage can have you feeling a wide range of feelings from loneliness, listlessness, confusion, unconfident, etc. These feelings come about for a variety of reasons and they can be overcome if you just figure out why you're in a sexless marriage. You need to get to the root of the problem and uncover the real reasons that you and your spouse are no longer sexually active assuming of course, you once were!
To get to the heart of the causes for a sexless marriage will take some time. On the surface, you may be thinking that the cause of your sexless marriage may include one or more of the following scenarios:
Sexless Marriage: "We both work too much!":
You both work extremely hard and there just never seems to be enough time to get together, your schedules are skewed. This is true a lot nowadays with the 'new' economy, lots of couples are married but just live together like roommates if both parties have 'time-consuming' careers. If not managed properly, it is unfortunate but common for people in this type of lifestyle to end up in a sexless marriage.
Sexless Marriage: "You work, I stay home with the kids!":
One of you works very hard with your career and one of you stays home to raise the children (child), which is equally as hard as any career! This situation can lead to a sexless marriage in many cases because of the seemingly disparate priority base of each party. The spouse with the career may need to work after hours, travel, or attend "post work" functions and the spouse who stays home raising the children (child) may not have any other outlet for relaxation away from the home front. This situation can easily lead to a sexless marriage because there may be underlying feelings from both sides that contribute to an already tough situation based on personal and work related schedules.
The spouse with the career may say at times, "Why do you think I work so hard? I do it for you, the kids, our family, etc.". The spouse who stays home with the children (child) may say at times, "You have another release, you have social interaction daily with the outside world. I feel stuck here sometimes, I need to get out and have time for myself.". If the spouse that stays home feels like the spouse with the career enjoys being out and working more than being home, that calls for a whole different and escalated level of concern! Chances are the sexless marriage was bound to be that way before the current situation even arose.
Sexless Marriage: "I don't know why...there's just no spark left, you don't pay enough attention to me and our sex life and I guess I don't either!":
This is a common sexless marriage situation and it can be caused by a variety of things including emotional scars, bad experiences, boredom, laziness, etc. In this situation, there is deep cause for concern from both parties because both parties aren't happy sexually but don't really know why it ended up this way. Both parties have just "let things go" and didn't place a high enough priority on their sex life with their spouse, which in and of itself is very concerning.
Why would either or both parties let things get this way when love making is so important?
Sometimes there's a feeling of being taken for granted that can occur in this type of sexless marriage, and both parties should realize that sex is a basic human need and should take priority over other things at the right time. It takes work to get out of this type of sexless marriage, you need to sit down and figure out why your marital love life has dwindled. If you both really want to rekindle things, you can do so, but you both need to take equal responsibility for correcting the problem.
Whatever type of sexless marriage you are in (there's certainly more types than listed here), remember that it is not unrecoverable. If you're to the point of thinking about getting a divorce because of your sexless marriage, take the time to sit down and figure out how it got to be the way it is now.
If you've lost interest in your spouse from a sexual point of view, you need to define exactly why that occurred. If you don't know right off hand, you need to think back to a time when you did 'have the spark' and recall what you both were doing, feeling, thinking, etc. From that point, identify what has changed, why it has changed, and what you can do about it. When you get that portion figured out, you may well on your way to taking the first step of recovering from your sexless marriage. Remember, if you really want to rekindle your relationship, you can.
Karl Augustine
"A Practical Guide To Deciding Whether Or Not To Get A Divorce"
An eBook recommended by marriage counselors and relationship coaches to their clients.
Get FREE Chapters!
Sexless Marriage
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Karl_Augustine
http://EzineArticles.com/?Does-Your-Sexless-Marriage-Have-You-Thinking-About-Divorce?&id=8360
If you are in a sexless marriage and are unhappy because of it, don't worry, it isn't unrecoverable but it is serious cause for concern. You may even be thinking that you need a divorce because of your sexless marriage, that's only natural. But, in order to really decide what to do, some thinking needs to be done so you feel good about your decision, regardless if you stay married or not.
Being stuck in a sexless marriage can have you feeling a wide range of feelings from loneliness, listlessness, confusion, unconfident, etc. These feelings come about for a variety of reasons and they can be overcome if you just figure out why you're in a sexless marriage. You need to get to the root of the problem and uncover the real reasons that you and your spouse are no longer sexually active assuming of course, you once were!
To get to the heart of the causes for a sexless marriage will take some time. On the surface, you may be thinking that the cause of your sexless marriage may include one or more of the following scenarios:
Sexless Marriage: "We both work too much!":
You both work extremely hard and there just never seems to be enough time to get together, your schedules are skewed. This is true a lot nowadays with the 'new' economy, lots of couples are married but just live together like roommates if both parties have 'time-consuming' careers. If not managed properly, it is unfortunate but common for people in this type of lifestyle to end up in a sexless marriage.
Sexless Marriage: "You work, I stay home with the kids!":
One of you works very hard with your career and one of you stays home to raise the children (child), which is equally as hard as any career! This situation can lead to a sexless marriage in many cases because of the seemingly disparate priority base of each party. The spouse with the career may need to work after hours, travel, or attend "post work" functions and the spouse who stays home raising the children (child) may not have any other outlet for relaxation away from the home front. This situation can easily lead to a sexless marriage because there may be underlying feelings from both sides that contribute to an already tough situation based on personal and work related schedules.
The spouse with the career may say at times, "Why do you think I work so hard? I do it for you, the kids, our family, etc.". The spouse who stays home with the children (child) may say at times, "You have another release, you have social interaction daily with the outside world. I feel stuck here sometimes, I need to get out and have time for myself.". If the spouse that stays home feels like the spouse with the career enjoys being out and working more than being home, that calls for a whole different and escalated level of concern! Chances are the sexless marriage was bound to be that way before the current situation even arose.
Sexless Marriage: "I don't know why...there's just no spark left, you don't pay enough attention to me and our sex life and I guess I don't either!":
This is a common sexless marriage situation and it can be caused by a variety of things including emotional scars, bad experiences, boredom, laziness, etc. In this situation, there is deep cause for concern from both parties because both parties aren't happy sexually but don't really know why it ended up this way. Both parties have just "let things go" and didn't place a high enough priority on their sex life with their spouse, which in and of itself is very concerning.
Why would either or both parties let things get this way when love making is so important?
Sometimes there's a feeling of being taken for granted that can occur in this type of sexless marriage, and both parties should realize that sex is a basic human need and should take priority over other things at the right time. It takes work to get out of this type of sexless marriage, you need to sit down and figure out why your marital love life has dwindled. If you both really want to rekindle things, you can do so, but you both need to take equal responsibility for correcting the problem.
Whatever type of sexless marriage you are in (there's certainly more types than listed here), remember that it is not unrecoverable. If you're to the point of thinking about getting a divorce because of your sexless marriage, take the time to sit down and figure out how it got to be the way it is now.
If you've lost interest in your spouse from a sexual point of view, you need to define exactly why that occurred. If you don't know right off hand, you need to think back to a time when you did 'have the spark' and recall what you both were doing, feeling, thinking, etc. From that point, identify what has changed, why it has changed, and what you can do about it. When you get that portion figured out, you may well on your way to taking the first step of recovering from your sexless marriage. Remember, if you really want to rekindle your relationship, you can.
Karl Augustine
"A Practical Guide To Deciding Whether Or Not To Get A Divorce"
An eBook recommended by marriage counselors and relationship coaches to their clients.
Get FREE Chapters!
Sexless Marriage
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Karl_Augustine
http://EzineArticles.com/?Does-Your-Sexless-Marriage-Have-You-Thinking-About-Divorce?&id=8360
Stop Your Divorce Save Your Marriage And Ways To Get Your Ex Back
By Steve Gee
The problem with the advice you get from most marriage guidance councillors is that it involves effort from both you and your partner. This is ok if both of you want to repair the relationship and avoid breaking up but what if your partner isn't interested in saving your marriage? You're unlikely to get the results you are looking for if this is the case but what if I could show you some ways to get your ex back even if your ex doesn't want to come back?
Relationships are great in the beginning
Relationships are often wonderful to start with. You are both fresh to each other and you're still discovering how great it can be together. As time goes by however, you get used to each other and if you don't keep doing new and exciting things to keep the interest levels up then there is a tendency for you to grow apart. Sooner or later one partner decides that they've had enough and leaves.
Wake up your marriage is failing
It's often the case that one partner suddenly wakes up at this point and realises what's happened, realises what's been happening for months or maybe even years without even noticing. Panic sets in at the thought of losing your loved one and you start to plead with your soon-to-be ex to change their mind. You pour out your heart to her and promise that all sorts of things will change.
Stop - You won't save your marriage by pleading
The last thing you should do is plead with your partner to change her mind because she won't, in fact you'll just make things worse. Don't make promises that you can't keep because she won't believe you anyway. I know that it's hard but you must take a step back from the situation and get on with your own life. Showing that you can live without her will actually draw her towards you. It's strange I know but it's true.
Get a life - you might be surprised by what happens
I remember a long time ago when my long-standing relationship was breaking up. We had drifted apart for many reasons and I'd tried very hard for a very long time to stop my partner from leaving. Nothing worked and I finally gave up when I realised that I'd be better off getting a life than trying desperately to hold on to one that was obviously going nowhere.
What happened next surprised the life out of me. I stopped pleading and I told her that I'd accepted that it was all over and that we should go our separate ways. I thought that was what she wanted but was I wrong? Now it was me who was the bad guy! I was the one breaking up the relationship not her and she wanted to get it back.
I'm afraid things had gone too far for me at this point and my ex's pleading simply pushed me further away but I can't help wondering what would have happened had I known this secret a lot earlier. We might still be together and happily married. If you understand this secret you could stop your divorce and save your marriage.
Unlock the secrets of saving your marriage and learn ways to get your ex back. Immediate results guaranteed!
Stop Your Divorce Save Your Marriage
http://this-info.com/stopdivorce/stopyourdivorcesaveyourmarriage.php
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Steve_Gee
http://EzineArticles.com/?Stop-Your-Divorce-Save-Your-Marriage-And-Ways-To-Get-Your-Ex-Back&id=437783
The problem with the advice you get from most marriage guidance councillors is that it involves effort from both you and your partner. This is ok if both of you want to repair the relationship and avoid breaking up but what if your partner isn't interested in saving your marriage? You're unlikely to get the results you are looking for if this is the case but what if I could show you some ways to get your ex back even if your ex doesn't want to come back?
Relationships are great in the beginning
Relationships are often wonderful to start with. You are both fresh to each other and you're still discovering how great it can be together. As time goes by however, you get used to each other and if you don't keep doing new and exciting things to keep the interest levels up then there is a tendency for you to grow apart. Sooner or later one partner decides that they've had enough and leaves.
Wake up your marriage is failing
It's often the case that one partner suddenly wakes up at this point and realises what's happened, realises what's been happening for months or maybe even years without even noticing. Panic sets in at the thought of losing your loved one and you start to plead with your soon-to-be ex to change their mind. You pour out your heart to her and promise that all sorts of things will change.
Stop - You won't save your marriage by pleading
The last thing you should do is plead with your partner to change her mind because she won't, in fact you'll just make things worse. Don't make promises that you can't keep because she won't believe you anyway. I know that it's hard but you must take a step back from the situation and get on with your own life. Showing that you can live without her will actually draw her towards you. It's strange I know but it's true.
Get a life - you might be surprised by what happens
I remember a long time ago when my long-standing relationship was breaking up. We had drifted apart for many reasons and I'd tried very hard for a very long time to stop my partner from leaving. Nothing worked and I finally gave up when I realised that I'd be better off getting a life than trying desperately to hold on to one that was obviously going nowhere.
What happened next surprised the life out of me. I stopped pleading and I told her that I'd accepted that it was all over and that we should go our separate ways. I thought that was what she wanted but was I wrong? Now it was me who was the bad guy! I was the one breaking up the relationship not her and she wanted to get it back.
I'm afraid things had gone too far for me at this point and my ex's pleading simply pushed me further away but I can't help wondering what would have happened had I known this secret a lot earlier. We might still be together and happily married. If you understand this secret you could stop your divorce and save your marriage.
Unlock the secrets of saving your marriage and learn ways to get your ex back. Immediate results guaranteed!
Stop Your Divorce Save Your Marriage
http://this-info.com/stopdivorce/stopyourdivorcesaveyourmarriage.php
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Steve_Gee
http://EzineArticles.com/?Stop-Your-Divorce-Save-Your-Marriage-And-Ways-To-Get-Your-Ex-Back&id=437783
Marriage- Divorce- Repeat- Marriage- Divorce- Repeat
By Alyssa Johnson
On the home page of my website I have a quote saying “Over 60% of re-marriages end in re-divorce.” I frequently get asked, “Why is the divorce rate higher?” People state confusion over this because they believe that since they’ve been divorced once before, they’ll know the danger signs to look for and they are more determined to have what they call a “successful” marriage.
All of that sounds good, but let’s look at what the realities are. The following are some of the most common reasons for a higher divorce rate in remarriage.
A remarriage has one of the same partners who were present in your last marriage. Most people don’t take the time to evaluate WHAT went wrong. They just assume the problem was the WHO. Unfortunately that’s not the case. It’s important to look at what happened to cause the marriage to deteriorate. While it’s tempting to assume that your ex-spouse was the problem, they weren’t 100% responsible. Without taking time to look at YOUR part in the marriage’s demise, you are destined to repeat the similar, if not the same, mistakes.
A divorce experience doesn’t suddenly reveal special awareness of relationship danger signs. Unfortunately, people jump into new relationships way too quickly after their divorce. They are not truly prepared to be in a committed relationship in the way that a new marriage requires. Most people are still reeling from the many changes and/or losses they experienced as a result of their divorce. Continuing to be wrapped up in what happened in your last marriage doesn’t build a stable foundation for a new marriage.
Remarriage commitment is less than in a first marriage. By being in a remarriage, it means one member of your couple has been married before. If the previous marriage ended in divorce that means a conscious decision was made to terminate the marriage. That’s a boundary which was crossed over. After that boundary is breached once, it is much easier to come to that conclusion again. Divorce isn’t an unknown entity. You may not have liked it but you endured it. Because of this, it becomes a more viable option than it did in a first marriage as soon as things get rough.
A step family is an unknown in our society. Step families are quickly becoming the most common family unit, but does anyone have a clue how they are supposed work? We still base our ideas of family on the old standard of a nuclear family (mom, dad, and their biological children.) A step family does NOT fit this mold. When new step families see that their family doesn’t come close to resembling what they expected, it’s common for them to start questioning their decision to remarry.
Divorce is painful. There’s no getting around it. You hurt, you ex-spouse hurts, and your children hurt. Rather than running to the altar because you’re “in love”, take time to step back and prepare. Don’t put yourself and your children through the pain of another divorce. Be wiser. Be a better partner rather than just looking for a better one.
Visit http://www.Remarriagesuccess.com for more information on how to prepare as a couple and a family for a successful remarriage. I invite you to register today for your free 5 day e-course focusing specifically on other differences you will encounter in a remarriage versus your first marrige at http://www.Remarriagesuccess.com/e-course.htm. Alyssa Johnson, MSW, LCSW is the founder and CEO of Remarriage Success. She may be reached through her website at http://www.Remarriagesuccess.com where she encourages your feedback and suggestions.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Alyssa_Johnson
http://EzineArticles.com/?Marriage--Divorce--Repeat--Marriage--Divorce--Repeat&id=454928
On the home page of my website I have a quote saying “Over 60% of re-marriages end in re-divorce.” I frequently get asked, “Why is the divorce rate higher?” People state confusion over this because they believe that since they’ve been divorced once before, they’ll know the danger signs to look for and they are more determined to have what they call a “successful” marriage.
All of that sounds good, but let’s look at what the realities are. The following are some of the most common reasons for a higher divorce rate in remarriage.
A remarriage has one of the same partners who were present in your last marriage. Most people don’t take the time to evaluate WHAT went wrong. They just assume the problem was the WHO. Unfortunately that’s not the case. It’s important to look at what happened to cause the marriage to deteriorate. While it’s tempting to assume that your ex-spouse was the problem, they weren’t 100% responsible. Without taking time to look at YOUR part in the marriage’s demise, you are destined to repeat the similar, if not the same, mistakes.
A divorce experience doesn’t suddenly reveal special awareness of relationship danger signs. Unfortunately, people jump into new relationships way too quickly after their divorce. They are not truly prepared to be in a committed relationship in the way that a new marriage requires. Most people are still reeling from the many changes and/or losses they experienced as a result of their divorce. Continuing to be wrapped up in what happened in your last marriage doesn’t build a stable foundation for a new marriage.
Remarriage commitment is less than in a first marriage. By being in a remarriage, it means one member of your couple has been married before. If the previous marriage ended in divorce that means a conscious decision was made to terminate the marriage. That’s a boundary which was crossed over. After that boundary is breached once, it is much easier to come to that conclusion again. Divorce isn’t an unknown entity. You may not have liked it but you endured it. Because of this, it becomes a more viable option than it did in a first marriage as soon as things get rough.
A step family is an unknown in our society. Step families are quickly becoming the most common family unit, but does anyone have a clue how they are supposed work? We still base our ideas of family on the old standard of a nuclear family (mom, dad, and their biological children.) A step family does NOT fit this mold. When new step families see that their family doesn’t come close to resembling what they expected, it’s common for them to start questioning their decision to remarry.
Divorce is painful. There’s no getting around it. You hurt, you ex-spouse hurts, and your children hurt. Rather than running to the altar because you’re “in love”, take time to step back and prepare. Don’t put yourself and your children through the pain of another divorce. Be wiser. Be a better partner rather than just looking for a better one.
Visit http://www.Remarriagesuccess.com for more information on how to prepare as a couple and a family for a successful remarriage. I invite you to register today for your free 5 day e-course focusing specifically on other differences you will encounter in a remarriage versus your first marrige at http://www.Remarriagesuccess.com/e-course.htm. Alyssa Johnson, MSW, LCSW is the founder and CEO of Remarriage Success. She may be reached through her website at http://www.Remarriagesuccess.com where she encourages your feedback and suggestions.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Alyssa_Johnson
http://EzineArticles.com/?Marriage--Divorce--Repeat--Marriage--Divorce--Repeat&id=454928
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
How To Get Your Wife Back After Divorce
By Steve Gee
People sometimes do marry the same person twice believe it or not
It's not impossible to get your wife back after you have divorced. If you want to know how to get your wife back after divorce you could look for inspiration at one of the most famous examples of people marrying twice. The actor Richard Burton remarried Elizabeth Taylor again after they got divorced. But how can two people that have gone through the trauma of divorce, ever get back together again?
It's a lot easier to prevent divorce before it gets to the point of legal separation and finality but the process of patching things up and getting back together again is the same whether you have divorced or not.
I'm not a marriage councillor nor did I manage to prevent my 20-year relationship from breaking up amicably when we had drifted apart. Over the years I've watched as many of my friends got divorced and I've noticed a few things that are common in all these situations including my own.
The broken relationships that I've witnessed seemed to fail either because neither partner wanted to save it, or just one of the pair wanted to and used techniques that appeared very reasonable at the time but were completely ineffective.
If at least one of you wants to stop divorce then you have a chance to do so
I guess that there's nothing to be done when neither partner wants to save the marriage but there has to be at least a chance if one of you does. So what is it that so many people in this situation do wrong?
Perhaps they try too hard. They plead with their partner to reconsider and promise that they will change their ways. This is natural human behaviour and most would consider it a reasonable course to take but it rarely works unfortunately. If you're trying to get your wife back after a divorce or prevent your marriage breaking up then pleading is the last thing you should do. You should be concentrating on making yourself more attractive to your partner instead of persuading her that you're weak by pleading and lying about changes that you'll make that she knows that you won't.
Be strong, that’s how to get your wife back after divorce
Don't plead, don't argue and don't become inconsistent by agreeing with her opinion just because you think that's what she wants to hear. Be strong, dress well and start to take charge of your own life. Show her that you can live without her; she just might decide that she's missing something by not being with you.
Women are attracted to men who are strong and capable of protecting them. They're repulsed by weak pleading and prefer to do the chasing themselves. So be strong, confident, self sufficient and consistent with your opinions. It could make all the difference and the secret of how to get your wife back after divorce.
Unlock the secrets in saving your marriage and see immediate results guaranteed How to get your wife back after divorce http://this-info.com/stopdivorce/howtogetyourwifebackafterdivorce.php
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Steve_Gee
http://EzineArticles.com/?How-To-Get-Your-Wife-Back-After-Divorce&id=424524
People sometimes do marry the same person twice believe it or not
It's not impossible to get your wife back after you have divorced. If you want to know how to get your wife back after divorce you could look for inspiration at one of the most famous examples of people marrying twice. The actor Richard Burton remarried Elizabeth Taylor again after they got divorced. But how can two people that have gone through the trauma of divorce, ever get back together again?
It's a lot easier to prevent divorce before it gets to the point of legal separation and finality but the process of patching things up and getting back together again is the same whether you have divorced or not.
I'm not a marriage councillor nor did I manage to prevent my 20-year relationship from breaking up amicably when we had drifted apart. Over the years I've watched as many of my friends got divorced and I've noticed a few things that are common in all these situations including my own.
The broken relationships that I've witnessed seemed to fail either because neither partner wanted to save it, or just one of the pair wanted to and used techniques that appeared very reasonable at the time but were completely ineffective.
If at least one of you wants to stop divorce then you have a chance to do so
I guess that there's nothing to be done when neither partner wants to save the marriage but there has to be at least a chance if one of you does. So what is it that so many people in this situation do wrong?
Perhaps they try too hard. They plead with their partner to reconsider and promise that they will change their ways. This is natural human behaviour and most would consider it a reasonable course to take but it rarely works unfortunately. If you're trying to get your wife back after a divorce or prevent your marriage breaking up then pleading is the last thing you should do. You should be concentrating on making yourself more attractive to your partner instead of persuading her that you're weak by pleading and lying about changes that you'll make that she knows that you won't.
Be strong, that’s how to get your wife back after divorce
Don't plead, don't argue and don't become inconsistent by agreeing with her opinion just because you think that's what she wants to hear. Be strong, dress well and start to take charge of your own life. Show her that you can live without her; she just might decide that she's missing something by not being with you.
Women are attracted to men who are strong and capable of protecting them. They're repulsed by weak pleading and prefer to do the chasing themselves. So be strong, confident, self sufficient and consistent with your opinions. It could make all the difference and the secret of how to get your wife back after divorce.
Unlock the secrets in saving your marriage and see immediate results guaranteed How to get your wife back after divorce http://this-info.com/stopdivorce/howtogetyourwifebackafterdivorce.php
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Steve_Gee
http://EzineArticles.com/?How-To-Get-Your-Wife-Back-After-Divorce&id=424524
Divorce May Be the Wrong Choice
By Eva Fry
If you are thinking of divorcing your mate, I pray my thoughts will help you reconsider your decision. I believe that most troubled marriages don’t have to end in divorce.
I have been married for almost 48 years. Many times, though the years, I thought of divorcing my husband. I am so thankful I choose to stick to my marriage and to make things work.
Why am I thankful I stayed married to my husband and kept my family together?
1. My husband and I are happy today. I’m so glad we didn’t quite the times we were unhappy. We have had to learn to live with things we didn’t like about each other. We have had to learn to forgive and love, anyway. We have had to find ways to try to keep each other happy. We have even gone for counseling. The times I was hurting the most, I had to ask God to help me love him. One good thing we had was we could communicate with each other even though we didn’t always agree but we did learn to talk things over. Thankfully we were committed to our marriage.
Keeping a marriage together is not an easy task, with each mate being different and having different needs, but if you both really want your marriage to work you will find a way, if you are committed.
2. My family is still a complete unit. We are the same Mom and Dad to our kids. Because of this, our children are more stable than many of the kids of our friends and family members who chose to divorce.
Why do our kids seem more stable than many others whose families divorced?
a. They grew up in a two-parent home. The most important thing, for a child, is to have its own mother and father. They will never be as happy in another situation.
As parents, we are responsible to give our kids the best life possible. Divorce can cause negative experiences they will have to live with for the rest of their lives. If we are not good parents we need to become good parents.
Selfishness is the most common reason for divorce. When we only think of ourselves grave consequences follow. We must become selfless. We must develop the attributes of a loving, giving, considerate and selfless person if we want our marriages to work and our families to stay together.
If you are able to do this you will bless your own life. Your greatest personal happiness will come from your own happy family.
b. They did not have to go from parent to parent, according to how much time the court determined should be spent with each parent.
This is how many children today live. Shuffled from parent to parent. You need to find a way to get along with your mate. Sometimes you are the only one doing all the giving but often that’s just how it is because you are doing it for the future happiness of your kids and your family. Of course there are limits. Some behaviors should not be accepted but endurance is often what is necessary. Often you must wait on God to answer your prayers and teach you the things you both need to learn on how to create a happy family and how to love.
c. They did not have to live through the disagreements and arguments associated with divorcing. I am so thankful my kids didn’t have to experience this.
When we get married and have children we have the responsibility to do all we can to give our kids the happiest life possible. Through divorce I see kids taking on the pains of parents who hate each other and they use their kids as skate goats. Why should any child have to live through war as their parent’s battle it out? If you are doing this you need to fix it. If you live with a contentious person you do not have to respond in a contentious manner. It takes two to fight. You must look at yourself and determine how you are contributing to the war and stop your part in it. Ask God to show you how. Learn to keep your mouth shut or walk away. Learn to talk to God about your hurts and ask for His help. I had to learn this.
d. They didn’t have to adjust to new stepparents or new
stepsiblings. Learning to get along with their own brothers and sisters, in their own family was hard and learning to be obedient to us as parents was hard. My children did learn this.
I have seen so much pain in kids whose parents divorced and brought in new mates and stepchildren who didn’t care for the kids and were often bad people.
e. I believe my children were kept safer. They were under my roof, where I could protect them. If they had to share their life with their father and another wife I would never have know how they were being treated.
I have often seen the new partner resent the kids and treat them badly.
f. They did not have to live in a single parent household. I’m thankful my kids didn’t have to go through that experience and I didn’t have to go through it either.
I see mothers struggle to work full time and care for their families, by themselves. In reality there just isn’t enough time to do both as well as you can do if you have a mate.
g. I was able to be a stay-at-home mom. If my husband and I had parted I would have had to work. I’m thankful I could be there when they came home from school.
So many children come home to an empty house.
How is my personal life better because I stayed in my Marriage?
I’m proud of myself. I’m so thankful that with The Lords Help I did all I could to make my marriage work. I love being married. I have peace in my life that so many others don’t have. I’m thankful that I love my husband today. I’m thankful we have had time to get to know each other, to mellow and to learn about life so our love could grow.
As I look at others who divorced, I recognize that many left their marriages too soon, before they had time to make their relationship work.
I’m grateful to have a companion today. Many divorced people are alone. When you divorce and remarry you take on a whole set of new problems. You may think your life will be better but often you are jumping from the frying pan into the fire. Life ends up worse, not better. I know there are second marriages and families that do work out but often their second attempt does not solve all their problems. The saddest part of a divorce is that often those who divorce wish they could have their old life back, but it is too late.
I have had a more comfortable life than some of my friends who divorced. Thankfully we still have what we have accumulated together. I’m thankful we were able to provide a better life for our children.
Often finances are the greatest problem in divorced homes.
The divorce forces them to split everything they have and pay a lot of what they have to the Attorney’s.
Please consider the above facts before you choose to divorce.
I am thankful for the times that I stayed with my husband for the sake of the kids. I didn’t want to hurt them. I knew that their needs were more important than mine. It would have been easy for me to walk away but I put my kids first. I remember thinking, “I will leave my husband when the kids grew up,” but when that time came, I had learned to love him more and I didn’t want to leave.
I believe the reason my husband and I have stayed married is because we wanted to stay married. Thankfully we were willing to endure hard times and stay committed in spite of mistakes made by the each of us. We also were aware that we could not expect perfection from the other if we were not perfect ourselves. I especially found that serving my husband was the best way to make things work, even when he didn’t deserve my service. As the years have gone by, he has learned to appreciate me and thank me for my faithfulness, kindness and caring. I have also learned to accept and appreciate him and be aware of the good in him, which I was unable to see when we were younger. We are very happy today and I’m so thankful I didn’t give up before we got to this point. It can take years to get to this point but better late than never and you can give up so much if you quit too soon.
I’m so grateful that when we have family get togethers they have only one Mom and one Dad and I’m so thankful my husband doesn’t have another wife and I don’t have another husband. I can only imagine how messed up things could be.
You may be thinking that your life has been harder than mine and that you have more reasons to divorce than I did. This may be so but I have been through extremely hard times, too. I have endured and survived some of the same things that have caused others to divorce. Through those hard times I have learned and grown and my marriage has become stronger. Sometimes hard times are given to us for that reason so we can truly discover who we are and what we are made of. Also to help us to get to know who our mates really are.
I don’t think God ever planned for life to be easy. I think he intended us to experience trials to prove ourselves to Him and to help us reach our potential. Some of our greatest trials have been the ones we have gained the most growth from.
I encourage any of you who are thinking of divorce to consider the things that I have said. I know that God will help. Some times you are totally on your own in your marriage but He will make up for the things you don’t have in another way, as you wait for things to get better. In the end, if you are faithful, He will bless you.
I also believe that God will help any two people find happiness if they have Christ as the center of their marriage and if they choose to care for their mates and their children more than their own happiness.
I believe God wants families to stay together. Raising a family takes two, the father and the mother. If you both strive to please one another you will become “ONE” as The Lord Intended. I’m sure God intended FAMILIES TO BE TOGETHER FOREVER.
I am very thankful I stayed married and my family is still a complete unit.
Eva Fry's mission is to help others become better and happier. She is an inspirational author, singer/songwriter/ motivational speaker and seminar leader. Eva has published three books -
"YOU MUST HAVE A DREAM" -for seniors,
"BE A WINNER IN LIFE"-for good kids, troubled kids and their parents.
"LETTERS FROM JUVENILE HALL, KIDS HELPING KIDS" (Actual letters from kids at Juvenile Hall, intended to save other kids from destroying their lives)
She invites you to use the FREE ARTICLES she has written for: at- risk kids
Also FREE ARTICLES of inspiration to help meet life's challenges. http://www.evafry.com
She has produced 7 Music CD's
“Remember” (new music for seniors),
“Oh What Joy Christmas”
“The Little Things” (inspirational country),
“I Love Living The Teachings of The Lord” (Gospel/Christian)
“Savior of Mine” – (Christian)
“God Gave You Intelligence” (for children)
“Classical Style” (instrumental)
Her music and books can be purchased at http://www.evafry.com
Her books can also be ordered at any bookstore.
Her articles have been published, all over the world.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Eva_Fry
http://EzineArticles.com/?Divorce-May-Be-the-Wrong-Choice&id=427864
If you are thinking of divorcing your mate, I pray my thoughts will help you reconsider your decision. I believe that most troubled marriages don’t have to end in divorce.
I have been married for almost 48 years. Many times, though the years, I thought of divorcing my husband. I am so thankful I choose to stick to my marriage and to make things work.
Why am I thankful I stayed married to my husband and kept my family together?
1. My husband and I are happy today. I’m so glad we didn’t quite the times we were unhappy. We have had to learn to live with things we didn’t like about each other. We have had to learn to forgive and love, anyway. We have had to find ways to try to keep each other happy. We have even gone for counseling. The times I was hurting the most, I had to ask God to help me love him. One good thing we had was we could communicate with each other even though we didn’t always agree but we did learn to talk things over. Thankfully we were committed to our marriage.
Keeping a marriage together is not an easy task, with each mate being different and having different needs, but if you both really want your marriage to work you will find a way, if you are committed.
2. My family is still a complete unit. We are the same Mom and Dad to our kids. Because of this, our children are more stable than many of the kids of our friends and family members who chose to divorce.
Why do our kids seem more stable than many others whose families divorced?
a. They grew up in a two-parent home. The most important thing, for a child, is to have its own mother and father. They will never be as happy in another situation.
As parents, we are responsible to give our kids the best life possible. Divorce can cause negative experiences they will have to live with for the rest of their lives. If we are not good parents we need to become good parents.
Selfishness is the most common reason for divorce. When we only think of ourselves grave consequences follow. We must become selfless. We must develop the attributes of a loving, giving, considerate and selfless person if we want our marriages to work and our families to stay together.
If you are able to do this you will bless your own life. Your greatest personal happiness will come from your own happy family.
b. They did not have to go from parent to parent, according to how much time the court determined should be spent with each parent.
This is how many children today live. Shuffled from parent to parent. You need to find a way to get along with your mate. Sometimes you are the only one doing all the giving but often that’s just how it is because you are doing it for the future happiness of your kids and your family. Of course there are limits. Some behaviors should not be accepted but endurance is often what is necessary. Often you must wait on God to answer your prayers and teach you the things you both need to learn on how to create a happy family and how to love.
c. They did not have to live through the disagreements and arguments associated with divorcing. I am so thankful my kids didn’t have to experience this.
When we get married and have children we have the responsibility to do all we can to give our kids the happiest life possible. Through divorce I see kids taking on the pains of parents who hate each other and they use their kids as skate goats. Why should any child have to live through war as their parent’s battle it out? If you are doing this you need to fix it. If you live with a contentious person you do not have to respond in a contentious manner. It takes two to fight. You must look at yourself and determine how you are contributing to the war and stop your part in it. Ask God to show you how. Learn to keep your mouth shut or walk away. Learn to talk to God about your hurts and ask for His help. I had to learn this.
d. They didn’t have to adjust to new stepparents or new
stepsiblings. Learning to get along with their own brothers and sisters, in their own family was hard and learning to be obedient to us as parents was hard. My children did learn this.
I have seen so much pain in kids whose parents divorced and brought in new mates and stepchildren who didn’t care for the kids and were often bad people.
e. I believe my children were kept safer. They were under my roof, where I could protect them. If they had to share their life with their father and another wife I would never have know how they were being treated.
I have often seen the new partner resent the kids and treat them badly.
f. They did not have to live in a single parent household. I’m thankful my kids didn’t have to go through that experience and I didn’t have to go through it either.
I see mothers struggle to work full time and care for their families, by themselves. In reality there just isn’t enough time to do both as well as you can do if you have a mate.
g. I was able to be a stay-at-home mom. If my husband and I had parted I would have had to work. I’m thankful I could be there when they came home from school.
So many children come home to an empty house.
How is my personal life better because I stayed in my Marriage?
I’m proud of myself. I’m so thankful that with The Lords Help I did all I could to make my marriage work. I love being married. I have peace in my life that so many others don’t have. I’m thankful that I love my husband today. I’m thankful we have had time to get to know each other, to mellow and to learn about life so our love could grow.
As I look at others who divorced, I recognize that many left their marriages too soon, before they had time to make their relationship work.
I’m grateful to have a companion today. Many divorced people are alone. When you divorce and remarry you take on a whole set of new problems. You may think your life will be better but often you are jumping from the frying pan into the fire. Life ends up worse, not better. I know there are second marriages and families that do work out but often their second attempt does not solve all their problems. The saddest part of a divorce is that often those who divorce wish they could have their old life back, but it is too late.
I have had a more comfortable life than some of my friends who divorced. Thankfully we still have what we have accumulated together. I’m thankful we were able to provide a better life for our children.
Often finances are the greatest problem in divorced homes.
The divorce forces them to split everything they have and pay a lot of what they have to the Attorney’s.
Please consider the above facts before you choose to divorce.
I am thankful for the times that I stayed with my husband for the sake of the kids. I didn’t want to hurt them. I knew that their needs were more important than mine. It would have been easy for me to walk away but I put my kids first. I remember thinking, “I will leave my husband when the kids grew up,” but when that time came, I had learned to love him more and I didn’t want to leave.
I believe the reason my husband and I have stayed married is because we wanted to stay married. Thankfully we were willing to endure hard times and stay committed in spite of mistakes made by the each of us. We also were aware that we could not expect perfection from the other if we were not perfect ourselves. I especially found that serving my husband was the best way to make things work, even when he didn’t deserve my service. As the years have gone by, he has learned to appreciate me and thank me for my faithfulness, kindness and caring. I have also learned to accept and appreciate him and be aware of the good in him, which I was unable to see when we were younger. We are very happy today and I’m so thankful I didn’t give up before we got to this point. It can take years to get to this point but better late than never and you can give up so much if you quit too soon.
I’m so grateful that when we have family get togethers they have only one Mom and one Dad and I’m so thankful my husband doesn’t have another wife and I don’t have another husband. I can only imagine how messed up things could be.
You may be thinking that your life has been harder than mine and that you have more reasons to divorce than I did. This may be so but I have been through extremely hard times, too. I have endured and survived some of the same things that have caused others to divorce. Through those hard times I have learned and grown and my marriage has become stronger. Sometimes hard times are given to us for that reason so we can truly discover who we are and what we are made of. Also to help us to get to know who our mates really are.
I don’t think God ever planned for life to be easy. I think he intended us to experience trials to prove ourselves to Him and to help us reach our potential. Some of our greatest trials have been the ones we have gained the most growth from.
I encourage any of you who are thinking of divorce to consider the things that I have said. I know that God will help. Some times you are totally on your own in your marriage but He will make up for the things you don’t have in another way, as you wait for things to get better. In the end, if you are faithful, He will bless you.
I also believe that God will help any two people find happiness if they have Christ as the center of their marriage and if they choose to care for their mates and their children more than their own happiness.
I believe God wants families to stay together. Raising a family takes two, the father and the mother. If you both strive to please one another you will become “ONE” as The Lord Intended. I’m sure God intended FAMILIES TO BE TOGETHER FOREVER.
I am very thankful I stayed married and my family is still a complete unit.
Eva Fry's mission is to help others become better and happier. She is an inspirational author, singer/songwriter/ motivational speaker and seminar leader. Eva has published three books -
"YOU MUST HAVE A DREAM" -for seniors,
"BE A WINNER IN LIFE"-for good kids, troubled kids and their parents.
"LETTERS FROM JUVENILE HALL, KIDS HELPING KIDS" (Actual letters from kids at Juvenile Hall, intended to save other kids from destroying their lives)
She invites you to use the FREE ARTICLES she has written for: at- risk kids
Also FREE ARTICLES of inspiration to help meet life's challenges. http://www.evafry.com
She has produced 7 Music CD's
“Remember” (new music for seniors),
“Oh What Joy Christmas”
“The Little Things” (inspirational country),
“I Love Living The Teachings of The Lord” (Gospel/Christian)
“Savior of Mine” – (Christian)
“God Gave You Intelligence” (for children)
“Classical Style” (instrumental)
Her music and books can be purchased at http://www.evafry.com
Her books can also be ordered at any bookstore.
Her articles have been published, all over the world.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Eva_Fry
http://EzineArticles.com/?Divorce-May-Be-the-Wrong-Choice&id=427864
Exclusive Kevin Federline Interview
Exclusive Interviews with Kevin Federline on Monday, November 6th the day before Britney Spears filed for Divorce.
Bill Bennet explains marriage
Jon Stewart's hilarious interview of the ultra-Conservative about the definition of marriage
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Marriage Problems: Common, But Never Simple
Author: Rene Graeber
You may think the common problem is because he leaves the toothpaste cap half on or that she keeps on coming back with a new dent on the car.
It is a scary thought - the idea that maybe tomorrow one of you will just come up to the other and say, "I think don't want to be married to you anymore."
One may think they're ready for it, but the truth is, they never are. They see it coming from a distance, but unfortunately, they were too preoccupied with the problem, they forgot to look for a solution.
And that is what is commonly happening with married couples today. There is so much anticipation on looking out for the telltale marriage trouble signs that once the problem is in your face, hardly anything is done about it.
What are these "common marriage problems" that are being talked about so often? A lot will tell you these problems fall in any of these three categories: career and finances, fidelity and personality.
Strained marriages are rocked by problems from all of these categories but the marriages that survive do so because they addressed the problem properly and looked for a solution - together.
So just how do you actually do that? It is both simple and complex.
It is simple because it just requires you to admit to yourself and to your spouse that you have a problem. On the other hand, it is complex because both of you may not agree on what exactly the problem is and the solution for it.
For both of you to reach an agreement, you must be able to both listen and articulate. Listen first to what your spouse thinks is the problem that's driving you apart.
After he/she has said her part, then carefully tell her what's on your mind. This act of listening and communicating then brings to both your attentions the problems with your relationship and the causes for it.
However, the both of you need to take the next step by finding a solution to the problem. This is the tricky part for it will undoubtedly require adjustment from both sides. However, simply making the necessary adjustments alone will not address the problem.
You need to find the reason why you are making these sacrifices. And that reason should be because you love your spouse and want to build on the relationship making it stronger with time.
Whether it is a problem with spending, or with who gets to hold the remote control, marriage problems can be weathered when faced together and worked on together. In time, an open toothpaste tube, or another fender bender won't have an effect at all on the relationship.
About the Author:
How to Easily Transform a Miserable, Lifeless Marriage Relationship into One Filled With Love, Happiness, and Excitement - Just Visit: http://www.marriage-problems-advice-help.info
You may think the common problem is because he leaves the toothpaste cap half on or that she keeps on coming back with a new dent on the car.
It is a scary thought - the idea that maybe tomorrow one of you will just come up to the other and say, "I think don't want to be married to you anymore."
One may think they're ready for it, but the truth is, they never are. They see it coming from a distance, but unfortunately, they were too preoccupied with the problem, they forgot to look for a solution.
And that is what is commonly happening with married couples today. There is so much anticipation on looking out for the telltale marriage trouble signs that once the problem is in your face, hardly anything is done about it.
What are these "common marriage problems" that are being talked about so often? A lot will tell you these problems fall in any of these three categories: career and finances, fidelity and personality.
Strained marriages are rocked by problems from all of these categories but the marriages that survive do so because they addressed the problem properly and looked for a solution - together.
So just how do you actually do that? It is both simple and complex.
It is simple because it just requires you to admit to yourself and to your spouse that you have a problem. On the other hand, it is complex because both of you may not agree on what exactly the problem is and the solution for it.
For both of you to reach an agreement, you must be able to both listen and articulate. Listen first to what your spouse thinks is the problem that's driving you apart.
After he/she has said her part, then carefully tell her what's on your mind. This act of listening and communicating then brings to both your attentions the problems with your relationship and the causes for it.
However, the both of you need to take the next step by finding a solution to the problem. This is the tricky part for it will undoubtedly require adjustment from both sides. However, simply making the necessary adjustments alone will not address the problem.
You need to find the reason why you are making these sacrifices. And that reason should be because you love your spouse and want to build on the relationship making it stronger with time.
Whether it is a problem with spending, or with who gets to hold the remote control, marriage problems can be weathered when faced together and worked on together. In time, an open toothpaste tube, or another fender bender won't have an effect at all on the relationship.
About the Author:
How to Easily Transform a Miserable, Lifeless Marriage Relationship into One Filled With Love, Happiness, and Excitement - Just Visit: http://www.marriage-problems-advice-help.info
Monday, January 29, 2007
The Prenuptial Agreement Dilemma
By Jeffrey Broobin
Should we have a prenuptial agreement?
OK. You can look at the idea as very cold and unromantic. You can look at the idea as a considerate and practical way to decide before the marriage certain issues having to do with your money.
It is interesting to note that the custom of creating prenuptial agreements is not the modern invention that it seems to be. During the 19th century, before the Married Women's Property Act of 1848, prenuptial agreements were necessary for women in the United States. Until the act became law, everything a woman owned or inherited was transferred to her husband. If he died or divorced her, she was just out of luck.
Nowadays it is not so uncommon to execute prenuptial agreements. And these are not just for the famous super-rich couples we read about, where one spouse is much richer than the other. These are couples who want to be upfront about financial issues and get that out of the way before the wedding.
A prenuptial agreement is a signed and notarized contract that describes how a couple will handle the financial aspects of their marriage. The prenuptial agreement has many positive benefits that are not related to divorce, and although it is not very romantic, it has many positive elements.
• If a future spouse won't sign a prenuptial agreement, it may be best to discover this before the wedding.
The financial well-being of children from a previous marriage can be protected
• Personal and business assets accumulated before the marriage are protected by a prenuptial agreement.
• A prenuptial agreement reveals financial expectations before the wedding.
• A prenuptial agreement discloses assets a spouse may want to give to children or other family members in the event of death.
• In the event of a divorce, the prenup eliminates battles over assets and finances.
• Signing a prenup does not mean that a couple is anticipating divorce.
• Prenups address financial matters need to be faced.
• A well-constructed prenuptial agreement can preserve family ties and inheritance.
Despite its many positive features, the prenuptial agreement cannot accomplish everything.
• A prenuptial agreement may be considered unromantic.
• A prenuptial agreement may give the appearance of a lack of trust between the partners.
• It is true that a prenup could create resentment between certain spouses.
• Certain requirements exist so that the prenuptial agreement cannot be declared invalid. These include failure to disclose all assets, evidence of fraud, forcing the agreement upon the other spouse, unfairness, and lack of representation at the time of signing the agreement.
If you are considering having a prenuptial agreement it is important to remember these things:
• Don’t wait until the last minute to talk about financial matters. Discuss the agreement early in the relationship.
• Don’t try to hide your thoughts, feelings, and especially your assets.
Note that Legal Helper Corp. - http://www.legalhelpmate.com/prenuptial-agreement.aspx - provides an easy-to-use, quick, and economical online method for creating Prenuptial Agreement (Premarital).
About The Author
Jeffrey Broobin is a free-lance writer on family and finance issues; his main goal is to help people during their complicated period of life.
Website: http://www.legalhelpmate.com
Email: jeffreyb@legalhelpmate.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jeffrey_Broobin
http://EzineArticles.com/?The-Prenuptial-Agreement-Dilemma&id=20286
Should we have a prenuptial agreement?
OK. You can look at the idea as very cold and unromantic. You can look at the idea as a considerate and practical way to decide before the marriage certain issues having to do with your money.
It is interesting to note that the custom of creating prenuptial agreements is not the modern invention that it seems to be. During the 19th century, before the Married Women's Property Act of 1848, prenuptial agreements were necessary for women in the United States. Until the act became law, everything a woman owned or inherited was transferred to her husband. If he died or divorced her, she was just out of luck.
Nowadays it is not so uncommon to execute prenuptial agreements. And these are not just for the famous super-rich couples we read about, where one spouse is much richer than the other. These are couples who want to be upfront about financial issues and get that out of the way before the wedding.
A prenuptial agreement is a signed and notarized contract that describes how a couple will handle the financial aspects of their marriage. The prenuptial agreement has many positive benefits that are not related to divorce, and although it is not very romantic, it has many positive elements.
• If a future spouse won't sign a prenuptial agreement, it may be best to discover this before the wedding.
The financial well-being of children from a previous marriage can be protected
• Personal and business assets accumulated before the marriage are protected by a prenuptial agreement.
• A prenuptial agreement reveals financial expectations before the wedding.
• A prenuptial agreement discloses assets a spouse may want to give to children or other family members in the event of death.
• In the event of a divorce, the prenup eliminates battles over assets and finances.
• Signing a prenup does not mean that a couple is anticipating divorce.
• Prenups address financial matters need to be faced.
• A well-constructed prenuptial agreement can preserve family ties and inheritance.
Despite its many positive features, the prenuptial agreement cannot accomplish everything.
• A prenuptial agreement may be considered unromantic.
• A prenuptial agreement may give the appearance of a lack of trust between the partners.
• It is true that a prenup could create resentment between certain spouses.
• Certain requirements exist so that the prenuptial agreement cannot be declared invalid. These include failure to disclose all assets, evidence of fraud, forcing the agreement upon the other spouse, unfairness, and lack of representation at the time of signing the agreement.
If you are considering having a prenuptial agreement it is important to remember these things:
• Don’t wait until the last minute to talk about financial matters. Discuss the agreement early in the relationship.
• Don’t try to hide your thoughts, feelings, and especially your assets.
Note that Legal Helper Corp. - http://www.legalhelpmate.com/prenuptial-agreement.aspx - provides an easy-to-use, quick, and economical online method for creating Prenuptial Agreement (Premarital).
About The Author
Jeffrey Broobin is a free-lance writer on family and finance issues; his main goal is to help people during their complicated period of life.
Website: http://www.legalhelpmate.com
Email: jeffreyb@legalhelpmate.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jeffrey_Broobin
http://EzineArticles.com/?The-Prenuptial-Agreement-Dilemma&id=20286
Pre-Nuptial or Post Nuptial Financial Agreements
By John Kunkle
If you have a lot of assets, and you are worried about the financial consequences of getting divorced, you may want to consider a pre-nuptial agreement.
I’m not suggesting you get a pre-nuptial agreement, nor am I suggesting how such an agreement should be structured. That is between you, your attorney, and your financial advisors.
However, if you are going to pursue a pre-nuptial agreement, consider the following:
For such an agreement to be valid, you must have all the documents in both English and Russian. They must be certified translations of the documents in both languages.
You should have an attorney present to represent your future wife as well as one for yourself. The attorney representing your future wife should be fluent in both English and Russian so he can explain everything to her.
If you are serious about a pre-nuptial agreement or a post-nuptial agreement, don’t get cheap with this process. If you don’t have a competent attorney representing your future wife, and if she didn’t understand what she is signing, the agreement may be disqualified.
So don’t buy a “do it yourself pre-nuptial agreement kit” or try to cut corners in the process, or you may end up with a whole lot of nothing.
Considering the affect a pre-nuptial agreement is going to have on your wife’s attitude anyway, a botched job could put you in even worse shape than not having one in the first place.
If you are rich enough to need a pre-nuptial agreement, you can afford to do it right. It always amazes me when I hear of guys going cheap on things that are vital. Would you buy a life support system or shark cage on the discount isle?
John has been successfully married to a Belarussian wife for over five years. He has traveled extensively through Russia and other CIS countries. He will tell you why you should consider Russian women, how to meet them, how to bring your special woman home, and how to survive married life.
www.russian-luv.com/prenuptial.html
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=John_Kunkle
http://EzineArticles.com/?Pre-Nuptial-or-Post-Nuptial-Financial-Agreements&id=341402
If you have a lot of assets, and you are worried about the financial consequences of getting divorced, you may want to consider a pre-nuptial agreement.
I’m not suggesting you get a pre-nuptial agreement, nor am I suggesting how such an agreement should be structured. That is between you, your attorney, and your financial advisors.
However, if you are going to pursue a pre-nuptial agreement, consider the following:
For such an agreement to be valid, you must have all the documents in both English and Russian. They must be certified translations of the documents in both languages.
You should have an attorney present to represent your future wife as well as one for yourself. The attorney representing your future wife should be fluent in both English and Russian so he can explain everything to her.
If you are serious about a pre-nuptial agreement or a post-nuptial agreement, don’t get cheap with this process. If you don’t have a competent attorney representing your future wife, and if she didn’t understand what she is signing, the agreement may be disqualified.
So don’t buy a “do it yourself pre-nuptial agreement kit” or try to cut corners in the process, or you may end up with a whole lot of nothing.
Considering the affect a pre-nuptial agreement is going to have on your wife’s attitude anyway, a botched job could put you in even worse shape than not having one in the first place.
If you are rich enough to need a pre-nuptial agreement, you can afford to do it right. It always amazes me when I hear of guys going cheap on things that are vital. Would you buy a life support system or shark cage on the discount isle?
John has been successfully married to a Belarussian wife for over five years. He has traveled extensively through Russia and other CIS countries. He will tell you why you should consider Russian women, how to meet them, how to bring your special woman home, and how to survive married life.
www.russian-luv.com/prenuptial.html
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=John_Kunkle
http://EzineArticles.com/?Pre-Nuptial-or-Post-Nuptial-Financial-Agreements&id=341402
Wedding Planning: A Complete Guide On Wedding Invitation Cards
A wedding invitaion or a card is a simple letter asking the recipient to attend the wedding. These invitations are generally mailed out six to eight weeks before the finalised wedding date. So once you are engaged and the dates are planned for the various occassions, the next big step that follows is to decide upon the wedding invitations.
Everything has to be the perfect, including your wedding cards. They are important part in setting your mood right for your special day.
From invitations that are handcrafted to the formal ones, cards with raised letters on it or the one having engraved styles, there are numerous beautiful wedding invitations available to match the style and theme of your wedding. From the traditional to the contemporary, there are wedding cards to compliment the taste of everyone.
Choosing the right wedding invitation for your guests is not an easy task and can get a run for your money. So if you do not want to work harder on making a choice on that and want to make it simple, you can go for the ready to use wedding invitation that are available in the card stores that are local to you. But this is not the only option. Your wedding cards can be designed to coordinate your wedding theme. So if you are planning to have a vintage-style wedding, you can definitely have an invitation, suiting the mood of the whole celebration.
And if you are bored of seeing those traditionally made cards. Do not worry. There are options for you to give you that funky and modern look that you always desired. Under this category of wedding invitations, you can create your own art by putting the favorite photographs of you and your beloved. This gives a more personal touch to the whole celebration. And if you really want to put some good efforts, you can even purchase some blank cards and then decorate them yourself.
There are many wedding invitations that come with matching envelopes to give them a complete and impeccable look. Invitation cards also include thank you notes. This is necessary to give the wedding card a personal touch.
You can sometimes find calligraphy on the wedding invitations. But this is not just the option. There are also other types of printing that can be beautifully displayed on them. Thermography, engraving, letterpress printing and also sometimes blind embossing. Generally double envelopes are used to mail them. The inner envelope has a lining of a matching color to the card and is not gummed. On the other hand, the outer envelope is used as a sealer.
There are numerous parts of a wedding invitation. Beside the invite, you may also find an ensemble of various cards, that are for the different occasions to be held on different days. Adding a location map or a direction card is also common.
Now once the layout of your wedding card is prepared, the last thing that follows is to decide upon their numbers. And the date and the mode of their dispatch.
About the Author
The auther writes articles on different topics. To get more articles on wedding visit http://www.weddingleague.com/ROMANCE 101—How to turn Your Relationship into a Great Romance!
OK...Let's talk about romance! The #1 most important thing you need to turn your relationship into a great romance is DESIRE. You have to WANT great romance in your life. Well, who wouldn't want that? But it won't just happen...it will take some effort. But it will be well worth it!
When asking couples why they think the romance has escaped their relationships, the most common excuse is TIME. It's sooooooo hard to find time and energy to devote to your relationships. But think for a moment back to your courtship. What was different then? Didn't you have a job then? Didn't you have other responsibilities then? Of course you did...maybe not to the extent that you do now, but you still had a schedule to keep, whether it was attending college, studying, playing sports, attending club meetings, keeping a job, etc. But somehow you found the time to "woo" your partner, right? You found time to date, right? Why? Because you WANTED TO! You planned it into your schedule and did it! And why were those times together so special? Because that specific amount of time was set aside and reserved for one reason...ROMANCE! And during those "dates" you gave 100% of your attention to each other, right? That's what made it special.
Now I want you to think about the last time you and your partner went out to dinner. What did you talk about? Maybe it was the family finances, or difficulties at work, or...the KIDS. Wow, what a romantic dinner, huh? That's the problem. You have to learn to create romantic situations that focus 100% on each other. Save the "problem solving" for another time. I can't tell you how many times in the past my husband and I went out to dinner and whenever we got home, I didn't even feel like we went out! Why? Because the whole time we were out, we were busy doing that "problem solving" stuff instead of enjoying what little time we had together. So, that's the second most important thing you need to turn your relationship into a great romance...PRIORITY. Make it a priority to spend quality, FOCUSED time with your partner. These special times should be set aside JUST for the two of you to enjoy each others company...nothing else...PERIOD.
Okay...So now we have established that creating great romance will require DESIRE, and making it a PRIORITY. The next thing we need is a PLAN! You may have heard the saying, "You didn't plan to fail, you just failed to plan!" Anything
worth doing requires a good plan. It can be as simple as scheduling one evening per week as "date night," or promising to spend "x" amount of time doing something romantic for your partner each week. There are plenty of
books, magazines, web sites, newsletters, etc. that will give you lots of ideas to use for your romantic "dates." Use your imagination & be creative! The most important thing is to make a plan and then stick to it...no matter what.
After that, all that's left to do is sit back and watch the magic of romance do it's thing! Oh, I'm not saying that this is going to be easy...it WILL take a little work. But it will be FUN work!
About the Author
Gina Woods is the publisher of "E-Romance Weekly," an on-line weekly newsletter offering exciting "romantic recipes" to rekindle the romance in any relationship. For more information, visit http://www.spiritwithindesigns.com/E-Romance/subscribe.html. Join our FREE E-Romance Weekly Yahoo Group at
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/eromanceweekly.
Romance Your Wife - Ask Her Out On A Romantic Date
If you want to romance your wife, think about how you won her heart in the first place. Your romantic relationship may have started out when you called her and asked her out on a date. When you went out for the first time, you were sweet, romantic and you tried hard to impress her. She apparently enjoyed your loving attention, because she ended up marrying you. If you want to romance your wife, it is time to start dating her again.
Before you start, do a little research. What do you think your wife would like to do on a romantic date? If you decide to go to dinner and a movie, what restaurant do you think she would enjoy? What movie has she been wanting to see? If your wife enjoys a certain type of restaurant, ask your friends and coworkers for recommendations. They may also have ideas for a really good movie.
After you’ve decided on the plans for your romantic date, call her several days in advance and ask her out. When you call her, act like you are asking her out for a first date. For example:
Jack: Hi Jane?
Jane: Yes?
Jack: Hi, this is Jack Johnson. Jane, I’ve really enjoyed the time we’ve spent together and I was wondering if you would be interested in going out this weekend?
Jane: Jack? You mean like on a date?
Jack: Yes, I thought we could both enjoy some time together.
Jane: Why that does sound nice, what did you have in mind?
Jack: There’s a new restaurant on Fifth Avenue that I have heard good things about. I thought we could have dinner there and then see "Romance Never Dies" at the movie theater.
Jane: Well Jack, it sounds like you have this all planned out. That sounds wonderful. I’m free Saturday night.
Jack: Saturday night it is. I’ll look forward to it!
Jane: So will I!
When the big day comes, act like it’s your first date. Get your car washed, select some nice clothes to wear and shower and shave just before your date. If you’re wife asks what you’re doing, tell her you have a hot date tonight. When it is time for your date, pull the car out front. Get out of the car and knock on the front door. When your wife answers the door, greet her and ask her if she is ready for your romantic date. When you walk her to the car, be sure to open the car door for her. Throughout your date, work hard to try to impress her, just as you would on a first date. When you arrive home after the date, walk around the car and open the car door for her. Walk her to the door. When you get to the porch, take her hands in yours and tell her that you had a very nice time and that you hope that you can do it again some time soon. Then, end your date with a sweet, romantic goodnight kiss.
If you want to romance your wife, never stop dating her.
About the Author
Timothy Mahar runs the website RomanceForEveryone.com which includes romantic ideas and a collection of romantic love letters.Do you really have an irreconcilable difference divorce?
An irreconcilable differences divorce in Tennessee and many other United States Jurisdictions requires agreement on all material issues. It is also the cheapest and easiest form so a lot of people mislead themselves into thinking they can get an irreconcilable differences divorce when it is inappropriate for their situation.
In the state of Tennessee to dissolve a marriage without the other parties consent requires that you have grounds to divorce. Certain states have true no-fault divorces that don’t require one party to prove grounds. Grounds are a reason recognized by the state of Tennessee that they will allow you to get a divorce for. They range from adultery, abandonment, to a catchall inappropriate marital conduct that can include a variety of behaviors that it is “inappropriate” for one married person to do to another. Tennessee code section 36-4-101 sets out the fifteen grounds. Among those ground is one called “irreconcilable differences”. As a lawyer who does divorces in Memphis this is what about half your clients will want when the call you. Some lawyers here advertise they can do one for $225 plus court costs in the Memphis Commercial Appeal! The problem is this really isn’t a ground for divorce under Tennessee law. You see in Tennessee to get a divorce for irreconcilable difference you must have a signed and notarized Marital Dissolution Agreement that sets forth how all the property will be divided and who gets what. If you have children then you also need a completed parenting plan where you agree on all details, a child support worksheet based on that plan, and to take a parenting class. All of the above will need to be signed notarized and approved by your ex-spouse. You cannot force your ex-spouse to sign the above. There is no legal penalty for failing to do so. There is also no way to default on these grounds. So if your spouse has taken off for the last two years with her lesbian lover to Nepal then you can’t get an irreconcilable differences divorce. Now if all the above is done then you can get divorced in 60 days from filing without children or 90 days with. Now if you come to me and pay me to do the paperwork for an irreconcilable difference divorce and your spouse isn’t prepared for having the papers presented to them numerous things can and frequently do happen.
1.Your spouse may sue you for divorce.
2.Your spouse may remove all the money from any joint checking accounts, tell her relatives you are threatening him/her, and get an order of protection against you.
3.Take the kids and move to Florida.
All of which because an irreconcilable differences divorce has no mutual mandatory injunction are very hard to combat. They also cause your lawyer to instead of doing a little cutting and pasting, counseling you for a half hour, answering a few questions, filing, and one short flexible court appearance to spending hours upon hours in multiple court appearances, frantic calls from you, and filing numerous documents to get you back in your house or the kids back from Florida. Your lawyer is also going to want a lot more money than $225. Frequently lawyers advertise irreconcilable differences divorces for low amounts and then refuse to perform any work unless you pay them say an additional $2000 retainers which will only cover the most moderately contested divorce. Most lawyers can crank out an irreconcilable difference divorce in about two hours of work. A lightly contested divorce can consume twenty hours of time in mediation and initial court appearances. That’s at one hundred and fifty or so dollars an hour. Going to trial can take hundreds of hours.
So what happens if you get a lawyer to begin work on an irreconcilable differences basis when you shouldn’t have? Well, you’re not going to have a lawyer for very long. They probably state in their contract they will perform no additional work and might not even have filed yet. In addition, they will be really ticked at you for underplaying the situation and will probably not be prepared to deal with whatever you spouse throws at you. There are several morals to this. One, be prepared to be generous. Its going to cost you several thousand dollars to tens of thousands to seriously contest any issues using a Memphis lawyer. Second, be honest with your lawyer if you want your spouse out of the house or its going to take some serious effort to come to an agreement with your spouse. Third, remember you can’t get an irreconcilable difference divorce in Tennessee without agreeing with your spouse on all material issues. I strongly urge you to contact a Memphis Lawyer to discuss a divorce before you even broach the subject with your spouse. Then try therapy knowing what your legal right, process, and cost will be.
About the Author
Memphis lawyer David Sandy is a Tennessee licensed attorney at law and his website is www.mymemphislawyer.com. His blog is www.mymemphislawyer.blogspot.com where he posts legal tips and restaurant reviews.
Legal Separation - What You Need To Know
A divorce is one of the worst things that can happen to a family. It can tear families apart, and leave everyone feeling miserable. Most couples try as hard as they can to save their marriage before deciding to make divorce their final step. Legal separation is an option that married couples can turn to when they have major problems in their relationships.
It is the act of living separate lives without divorcing. It is an opportunity that gives each partner time to decide what they really want, to work though issues, and to try to patch up their problems. Legal separation can sometimes fix relationships, and it may also reinforce the need for divorce.
A lot of issues may come into play with a legal separation. You may be able to pay your taxes separately, which can be an asset, and you may have to worry about child custody issues as well. You may also have to worry about who will make the house payment, who will drive what car, and who will care for any family pets. It is a good idea to get the advice and assistance of a good lawyer if you decide to enter into legal separation.
This will help you in figuring out what you need to do, and what your rights are. You may try to handle this option on your own, but beware of making mistakes. Any mistake you make during legal separation can affect the outcome of your divorce, and have an impact on child custody issues.
You can find many websites and articles on the Internet that offer information about legal separation if you want to have some information before going to see a lawyer. Since laws will vary from one state to another, you should be careful when you are going through this information. You should also keep in mind that not all information you find online will be accurate.
If you try this option as a last resort to save your marriage, don’t feel bad about it. There is nothing wrong with doing what you think is best for your family and for yourself. Legal separation can save your marriage, or at the very least, make you more comfortable with your decision to end your marriage.
About the Author
Morgan Hamilton offers expert advice and great tips regarding all aspects concerning Legal Separation. Visit our site for more helpful information about Legal Separation and other similar topics.Legal Issues Surrounding Divorce
There are two types of divorce: absolute and limited. Absolute, or “divorce a vinculo matu monii”, is the judicial termination of a marriage based on marital misconduct or other statutory causes after the wedding ceremony—such as adultery. After the divorce, both parties are deemed single again. Limited, or “divorce a mensa et thoro” is a separation decree, where the marriage is not fully terminated, and the couple still retain their civil status as married.
There are seven steps in having a divorce. While the process varies from couple to couple, depending on the situation of both parties, there are some essential procedures in filing for a divorce. One thing is certain, however: divorcing couples who are mature enough to agree on certain issues makes for a smoother divorce.
First, one party must file a petition for divorce. Even if both parties agree on a divorce, one must file the petition, which states the ground for divorce. There is such a thing as “no fault” grounds, which simply states that the relationship is no longer viable (such as “irreconcilable differences”). While many states allow this, some states still consider ground faults, such as adultery.
A temporary order is the next step. This is for claiming temporary financial support, child support, of custody. This is granted a few days after filing, and remains in effect until a formal court hearing. One should file for this ASAP.
A service of process is then required. This is to prove that the petition has reached the other party as well. A response is then needed from the other party. He or she must file a response to the petition, and is allowed to either dispute the grounds or defend himself or herself from them. Disagreements on custody or property division should also be filed with the response.
A negotiation for the division of property and custody comes next. The court usually lets the couple and their respective lawyers handle this, but if they cannot agree on anything, the court has to decide for them. Children are usually the responsibility of social workers, whom the court calls in to check on the living conditions of each spouse if it is fit for the children. A trial then ensues, to smooth out issues the couple couldn’t resolve by themselves.
Finally, an order of resolution is given, which ends the marriage and contains the division of property and debts. If the couple has negotiated these issues themselves, they can write their own order of resolution and submit it to court. If it meets the requirements, the judge approves it.
About the Author
For additional legal information and inquiries about the article log on to http://www.attorneyservicesetc.comAdvantages of an Uncontested Divorce versus a Contested Divorce
An uncontested divorce is the only way to go when getting a divorce. For one, you do not need an attorney, the divorce is done in private, and issues can be negotiated 1 on 1.
An uncontested divorce is the only way to go when getting a divorce. For one, you do not need an attorney, the divorce is done in private, and issues can be negotiated 1 on 1. You may need an attorney if you can not make an agreement of every issue you negotiate. Disagreements you should be ready for are the grounds for divorce, payment of family debts, visitation rights, division of the assets of the marriage, child support, alimony, custody of the children, payment of health insurance for the dependent, contribution toward educational expenses, and income tax.
It is important that you negotiate all the issues of the divorce before you file for an uncontested divorce. Uncontested divorces are given an identification number and are considered by the court as an issue that will eventually need trial time in order to resolve problem issues in the divorce. This is because until you two get all the issues of the divorce case negotiated your uncontested divorce is considered a "Contested Divorce".
When all the issues are negotiated you can then stipulate to the court to have the matters heard as an Uncontested Divorce or "no fault divorce" matter. The court will then expedite the Hearing then they will hear proof of the agreement of the grounds of the divorce. The proper way to prove the grounds of the divorce is with an Uncontested Divorce form. Id highly recommend you to get your form from legalformsbank.biz for your state's specific up-to-date Uncontested Divorce form. Be aware of sites where you must type in your personal information so they can "generate" your legal form. Not only are you giving someone else your extremely sensitive information that could be used for all kind of identity fraud, your liable to have your money and information taken from hackers who put up legitimate looking sites then disappear off the net without ever giving you your Uncontested Divorce form.
About the Author
Nicholas Fagan is proud to be an author of http://LegalFormsBank.biz providing information for legal do-it-yourselfers. We provide your state's specific, do-it-yourself, printable Uncontested Divorce form. Download your state's Uncontested Divorce form for only $7.95
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